Thursday, January 26, 2006

At a crossroad

One of the worst thing I think about is to come at a cross-road and pick a route. I hate that. I really do. Marriage, job, moving, love, buying, selling, saying, and many many more things in our life that brings us to a full stop and demand from us to make the choice.At that instant, your whole life in the past, as well so many speculations overwhelm you with thoughts. What if....well, what if..... You keep saying that for so many hours calculating every step you have to take. It;s like playing chess, only chess is controlled by you (and your opponent), but life is controlled by the almighty.During such time, I get depressed so bad, and start going crazy in my thoughts. I start plugging in formulas in my mind to make sure that I make the best choice. Especially when you have a family to drag with you. Any wrong step or move, and you'll be haunted with the guilty feeling for long time. Such feeling will for sure depress you, and where is Prozac when you need it.What do we want? Damn it what is it? If I live in this routine life, I complain about the lack of action. If I get the action and would have to step up to the plate and make the decision that will affect me and my family, I start complaining too. Damn it, where is that bottle of prozac I got the other day.
If only life was simple, but with a little touch of excitement. Naaa, what am I saying? That’s bad. Actions and excitement is what makes life worth living. No pain, no gain. You gotta live some days where you feel that the you will have to make the most important decision in your life.
Or maybe it’s just because I live in ohio, the land of moonshine (200 proof home made liquor that will make your stomach scream begging you for drinking sulfuric acid instead) and that all ohians are crazy like scared of decisions?


salam said...

ya allah!someone else feels my pain:I'm in the middle of two major crossroad..moving house..and a decision I need to make wether to change my work or not..I am crippled!

salam said...
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Bo3Bo3 said...


Don't u just hate that? seriously, don't u wish that u don't have to decide. Thanks.

salam said...

yes I DO..I stay up at night wishing for someone to take a decision for me and the funniest thing is that sometimes when that happens you realize but this is not what I want and you can choose easily!