Monday, June 05, 2006

Momy..I'm gonna leave you, please don't cry

As she was busy all night preparing her suitcases and papers, her eyes were flowing a river of tears. The whole house was doomy like. Nothing but sadness. "Please don't leave us" her mom was begging the little girl not to leave. Dad was trying so hard to hide his tears, yet, all who were in the house felt the pressure inside him that wants to explode. But he had to remain least one has to be firm in this.
Morning came, and as the little girl was ready to ride the taxi to the train station, she looked back at mom....who was still in agony that her little sweet girl is leaving her... I say she looked at her, and ran back to give her mom one last hug before leaving....and looked her in the eyes and said
"I'm leaving today.
Mom, please don't cry.
I'll be back soon.
Wipe the tears from your eyes.

I'm leaving you Mom.
I am on my own.
Yes, it is scary Momy.
Never been away from home.

I'm leaving Momy.
I'm a big girl now.
I will miss you
But it's life, somehow.

I'm leaving ...Momy.
Please don't be sad.
You're the best mother
Anyone could have..."

I know that times like these are harsh on poeple. Specially girls, who are so mature, yet, in the eyes of mom will always be that little girl. Boys too.
When I was 17 and a half, i was shipped to the states. I remember my Mom begging my father not to send me alone, and told him that bo3bo3 should wait for his friends who are going to states in 2 weeks. My dad was rough...I know he was rough..He pushed her (kindly) away and swore that bo3bo3 will go alone to the states. I cried (yes an 18 years old man does cry)...I was confused. I didn't know what I wanted. Dad pushed mom away and got a hold of my hands and dragged me to the car. Mom crying. Sisters crying Bo3Bo3 crying. But my dad had dry straight eyes. Took me in the car, and I watched my mom sitting on the sandy ground in alain, UAE crying like someone who just lost a famimly member to death. Dad pushed me through the gate of abu dhabi airport, and walked away. I looked at him, but all I could see is his back walking away from me.
17 years later.....I know that my dad must have been crying on the 2 houre drive back to the house. I know he did...I am sure he did.Times like these, when little girls and little boys mature and it's time to fly away to reach the stars, or become someone out there. Time to pursue life. Time to see the world. Times like these are so harsh on all sides of the equation, the X's, the Y's and the constants. I can never forget that day...Learned two things from them, Parents go through a hard time to let go those little kids in their eyes, and number 2 I learned that these actions by parents do create who we are, how strong we could be, and how we would approach life.

How was your departure away from home?


Omario said...

Hey... my cousin has the same story.. are you Rami? :)

eyad said...

its touchy! thank you,

raindrop said...

am sure your parents will appreciate your words, its touching indeed :)

may allah keep them safe for you

Bo3Bo3 said...

Thanks for reading guys, and for thw wishes too. It's just sometimes one looks back in time, and memories like this just pop out from no where.

U can consider me a cousin dude, but I don't think I am who u think. Not rami. But I'm sure by looking at the many people who left home to study, probably alot of them share the same story.

Ziad D. said...

I remember the day I left for the US as if it were yesterday (13 years this coming July 31st). Full of self-centered selfish excitement I was completely obliviously to how others felt around me. I consider my self an ass for not realizing what and how mom felt that day. Giddy all the way to the airport and joking around as if I was going on some vacation, telling everyone that all is 'cool'.
The potent moment however was when I kissed and hugged my mother and was about to walk away. She seemed fine as far as I could tell. Turning away, her hand held mine and she simply uttered:"don't go Ziad, please don't go..." The feeling revurberates in me till this day. My 'coolness' suddenly faded away so fast only to be replaced with darkest and coldest of sorrows. My trip to the US suddenly was a big deal, and I was so stupid for underestimating how I felt. It took a few simple words from my mother to wake me to reality. Things were never the same... I returned home a year later only to realize that Amman just like time, never waited for anyone. The place and people have changed. Trends shifted and people swayed with them. I was left with my time bubble of 1993. I visit Amman as often as time permmits, but it simply isn't the same... How I wish I listened to my mother and never left when she told me not to. To heck with school abroad. I wish I could turn back time again, and slap some sense into my self. But that is too late... My Amman has left and sweetness has gone with it... I just got back yesterday from a 3-week visit. Now it is just a place with tons of fancy cars littering it's tight roads... God I miss my Amman.