Phantom of Shame

Well...I've been trying to write a poem for some time now. It;s been too long since i did. I wrote a poem maybe a year ago, called "Leave me alone". It meant so much to me. I don't know if I posted it here or not. I'll check and maybe post it, as this blog of mine is becoming my only plave where I preserve any poetry of mine. So anyway, being stuck between 4 walls, spells linliness to me. Now, I know my wicked brain. It becomes very active during moments of lonliness and I feel some how controlled by this freak inside of me. Next thing, I see myself unintentially starting to write. I never knew I could write poems. I mean come on, a chemical engineer nerd...doesn't click, right. Well, it took me long time to figure out that I have a feel for writing...specially gothic poetry.

So, anyway, this is my latest gothic poem after a long time of waiting for it to evolve.


I don't know why I feel
The way that I do now.
Confused, lost in emotions
Never wondered how

Once upon a time,
I was an innocent man
But now, no forgiveness
Eternal burning as hell began.

I'm reaching out into a world
I can no longer see.
Eager to one day meet the man
I used to know as me.

As death points to me
Throws me in darkness,
Comforts my angry soul
Never realized I’m so lifeless

Urging me to be calm
Guiding me through the road.
I cannot see any light
Emotions eager to explode

This freak stands all alone,
Staring through eyes of dark.
Wondering whats to be done
Or what to even embark

Ooooh this life of mine
I used to know so well,
The trail of my existence
has turned into a hell.

I'm lost in my curse of mortality,
I'm overwhelmed by my tears,
I'm falling from this unholy sky
As my soul is filled with fears.

The wickedness deep inside me,
Isolated in this black hole,
I'm searching for an end to this,
For they truly control my soul.

I wish the demon departs my mind,
Torturing me beyond any mending.
I know that this can only be possible,
By bring my life to an ending.

Hidden behind that mask,
I am a burning flame,
Disguises cannot forever last,
But I am the phantom....of shame.

AAA 7/9/06