Wednesday, May 09, 2007

I wish I can claim I'm strong, but I'm not

Tonight, I decided to go to the arabic restaurant, across the street from the hotel, for good old arabic food and a shisha. I gotta admit that I had fun eating, and smoking shisha on the side walk, beside cute college girls, and endurinf the looks of the passers as they watched me buffing and huffing smoke. Nevertheless, there was a wedding party in the restaurant, and there was a table full of bottles of alcohol.

You see, I've been alcohol free for about 7 years. Since the day I married my wife, I dissontinued drinking once and for all. I wish I can claim to be strong in that catagory, but sadly, I am not. The bottles were calling my name. and I felt a moment of weakness. I could hear the vodca telling me "come and get me oh sweet darling". Thats when I decided to run outside and smoke my shisha.
I travel a lot these days, and part of my work is "pampering" plant managers and managers in general. That means that I take them to fancy restaurants, and let them run the bill into the tripple figures to satisfy their drinking habbits. I struggle in such activity. I sit away from them, but my blood keeps itching for a drink. I wish I can claim I'm strong, but I am not. I am just lucky the God is watching over me. Every time I feel a moment of weakness, God provides an escape rout for me before dragging myself back into this sinnful habbit. I know that if I caved in, then I'm just gonna be wasted for years to come. I don't want that at all. Seven wonderful years so far and I pray that they last till the day I face my God.

I'm no angel, and I know your cheering for such confession. I'm just a human being, who is weak, volurnable, and tempted always by the devil. I just hope that God keeps watching over me and keep me away from such thing. It's bugging me that my wife interrogates me after I come home. She questions me and smells my mouth to make sure that I'm still clean. I am clean..and I hope it lasts forever.


A Muslim said...

My Dear Brother,

The solution is easy, but you have to have what it takes. The prophet (PBUH) has condemned (out of the mercy of Allah) 10 people related to Alcohol. Some of which, the buyer, the seller, the producer, the transporter... and the person sitting on the same table (jalisuha). I don't really know you, but I know corporate culture and I do live in the west, and I've gotta tell you, it is NOT a walk in the park.

A long time ago I made a decision to be a "muslim" first and anything else second. That took a long time to become a reality - I hope.

A suggestion from me, honestly, as limiting as this is, and as drastic of an impact this has on your job, do not sit, mingle with or go to places (restaurants or otherwise) that serve Alcohol.

Secondly, educate yourself more - and aweful lot more - on Islam, you can never do enough.

Islamic ChoCoHoLic said...

this is jihad al nafs and it is stronger than any other jihad :)

allah y2aweek wa inshala dayman the inner bo3bo3 angel will win the naughty bobo3

and its a wife's nature to investigate :P zyadit i6mi2naan ya3ni

Summer said...

I know you will stick to it...good for you!

Sel3 said...

wish u luck dude!

Batoul said...

I liked this passage, I hope you keep up the good work and bare with your wife, I dont blame her.

Bo3Bo3 said...

A muslim
thanks for ur advice..but it's not as easy as u think. Thanks.

islamic chocoholic
loool...u seem to always give my wife an execuse. ur either her, or a good friend of her..or maybe it's a woman thing :). glad to see u around..zaman 3annek

so far so's a challenge..but very doeable

thanks dude...

loool..another execuse for the wife? :) thanks.

SimSim said...

i was scared when i started reading ... bas al7amdolellah that u r still strong and u strong

allah ywaf2ak brother

Haytham said...

oh man,

I sometime face the same problem that part of my job that I have to attend recieptions and dinners which contain alcohol but I realy control my self and stay away from such a thing as I had never ever tasted it and enshalah I will not so just be what you want to be and god will be next to you :)

keep up the good work and god bless you

Diana said...

my father was an alcoholic, and I will never forgive him for that.

Hareega said...

Bo3Bo3.... I don't know if you were an alcoholic or just a drinker, but regarding alcoholics once they become sober they should avoid alcohol in any possible way, and they should totally and completely stay away from it even its smell or taste and better avoid the places that serve it, it's very tought to stay sober (if u were alcoholic) the chances are 20% after ten years, but the chances are much higher if u were just a drinker

Anonymous said...

well done and I was going through the same pat for sometime and I am clean now, I think many brother here will not know what you are going through, and I hope they never have too. But I am encourage by your will, there are many other fun we can have in life, remeber if we harm our selves and our body in turn we are harming many other thing that we will regraet in life. keep up the good work.


suzieq said...

I woul love to know exactly where the arabic restaurant is @ in cinci where you had dinner and shisha. my boyfriend is egyptian and we are moving near there and are not familiar with anything yet. Also, like most Arabic men i know i can tell you are very strong abd you love your wife very much, don't fall to temptation. :)

nano1120 said...

I wish you all the best in your fight, you are so brave..

Currently i have the same problem with smoking, i just can't quit despite the fact that it destroys my health, beauty & consumes my money in a destructive way..

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

Allah y2aweek w y7meek w yb3id 3nk kul shar... wel 7amdulellah enk 3m tetzkr rabna bkul mawqef... 3m bastamti3 w ana ba2ralak...sadeq... waqi3i...allah ywaf2ak...w salamna lil madam...