Sunday, February 26, 2006

Erotic thoughts

Being born to a conservative jordanian parents, I grew up in an environment that has lots of red lines. Red lines on words, thoughts, and other aspects of our lives. As a result, one grws being catious always on what he/she says, or does.

Before my 18th birthday, I was sent to the states to pursue education. 17 years in the usa had it's affect on me. I'm sure others feel this way too about themselves.

I learned to flirt with those red lines. Come so close, take a peek, and then go back to my bases quickly. Sometimes, I would cross those lines for a short time, then quickly go back to my "normal" state, whatever that state means.

I learned to enjoy art. Suddenly, a picture of a naked beautiful woman is not an adult rated material, but now it is an art expression. Of course I don't mean photos like the ones posted in adult sites or magazines, but I mean an expression photos of beauty.

Same with thoughts. What I wouldn't even dare to think of, is now an ok thing.

So I decided to flirt with the red lines again, and hope no one gets offended by such actions of me.

Erotic thoughts.

It was late at night, close to 15 min passed midnight. I walked from the coffee shop (argeeleh style) to the resturant to have a late snack. In the restaurant, I saw her sitting on one of the tables, with her friend. She was beautiful, and so her friend. Lust started building in me and I felt something I haven't felt in some time. Here smile, her look, her face was telling me "join us". God what I would do for just 2 minutes with her.

After a big fight inside of me between my good side, and my evil wicked side, a winner was announced. Seems that my evil wicked side won again. So I got up, driven by the strong lust ana passion inside of my body, and went to the table. I sat next to her friend, but my eyes never moved away from her directions. Her friend was talking to me, and my mind was with her. Not just my mind, ...well. anyway, lets just say I was under a spell. A spell that won't leave me unless I satisfy my erotic lust toward her.

I tried to resist, and tried again. I can't win the battle. My body was like a flame wanting to explode. I just kept thinking of how sweet things would be between me and her.

I sat next to her friend, but my eyes were stuck on her, and so my thoughts. So much lust inside of me toward her. Her friend noticed, and said "you can have all three of us, if you wish". Wow, what an offer. Wait a minute bo3bo3, don't forget that u promissed urself that u never will do that. I declined the offer and smiled and said "Great offer, but I have to decline it, and ask ur permission to let me have her only". She smiled back at me and said "she is all your, enjoy". I was happy, and let my hand reach across the table toward her, thinking of when my lipos touch her body, soft silky smooth body. I held her, as if I was holding the secret to happiness, and used amatch to light her on fire, then smoked like there was no tomorrow. Indeed she was the most beautiful marlboro lights I ever had in my life. We both lived love like we never lived it before. I then walked back to my car thinking about my next victim, will it be another sweet lovely marlboro light again? I sure hope so.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

The man creature

We tend to overlook this creature. Concentrate alot on the greatness of woman, that we forget to even pay attention to this creature. Pregnancey, opression, second hand class citizen, crimes, and all those negative things that happen to women, underestimate the needed discussions or attention to man. Man. Man? :sigh: yes man.

Man, is a great creature. Loves, just like she does, cries, just like she does, feels, again just like she does.

Giving, you asked? Yes, man is a very giving creature. Works so many years, never complains, to make sure his loved ones survive.

Loving, you asked? The greatest love poetry was written by men. They say that poets don't lie, and then tend to express true emotions.

Caring, you asked? ooooh yes, very caring, to mom, dad, and all his family.

Sacrificing? oh yes. need I elaborate?

Man, we tend to overlook his feelings, emotions, laughter, and tears.

Oh well, he would never even complain, except me.

Monday, February 06, 2006

2/6/1999

a dark and a sad day in history. allah yer7am roo7ak sayyedy wa7abeeby abo 3abdallah.